Unto Every Generation

Stentorian voice:And so did the Beatles beget the Monkees who begot the Osmonds who begatted the Bay City Rollers who birthed Ah-ha who did produce Bros who did procreate New Kids on the Block who pushed out Oasis who assembled Backstreet Boys who possibly fathered Boys II Men who conceived Boyzone who adopted Westlife who...

Normal voice: I seems I've lost track of the latest and most heart-throbbish boy bands. Today, when I read in the newspaper that teenage girls were swooning and fainting all over Melbourne for a group of kidz with (of course) moppety hair called One Direction, I squawked “Who?”

But not to worry - thanks to some intense tutoring, I’m completely au fait with the lads now (there’s Harry and Zayn and... the other ones). In my defence, OD rose to stardom here during my extreme commuting phase, which leaves little time for following teen tastes in music. However, I suspect that from now on I shall need ongoing remedial help to keep up with the coming generations of impossibly-cute-boys-who-break-young girls'-hearts.